CHAPTER ONE
INTRODUCTION
Background to the Study
When people get married, they are expected to have entered a better way of living and as a result, almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration, with the hope that life will be full of happiness and to nothing can go wrong. As the journey of marriage continues, the involved begin to discover that no matter how well they get along, there are times when they disagree on major decisions, get annoyed at something the other person does, or just have quarrels because they’re in a bad mood or tired or for some other reason. Lack of similarities in ideals, opinions, thought patterns, and beliefs, disagreement or quarrel between the husband and wife may begin to make the couple to be tired of the marriage.
In many cases there are opposing ideas, opinions, feelings or wishes, one person wants one thing and the other person wants another thing, one activity is important to the husband while the wife detest that particular activity. These differences and disagreements are referred to asconflict. It is a known fact that individuals are different from each other and their interests also differ. They have different backgrounds, ideas and even different biological and psychological make these could lead to conflicting situations in a marriage. This was voiced by Barry, Hertet, Raush and Swain (1994) in Yahaya, Ogunsanmi and Oniye (2008) who noted that conflict is inevitable when partners in a close relationship seek to satisfy their varied needs. Conflict can arise in many areas of decision making, in the family -finances, child rearing, and extended families and they should be properly resolved in order to enjoy the marital relationship. These areas of conflict if not well managed can cause marital breakdown. Unresolved conflict could destroy a marriage.
Statement of the Problem
Today, many marriages have ended in divorce because the couples involved have not been able to resolve their differences about pertinent issues. People opt for divorce on the ground of irreconcilable differences due to the fact they have not been able to properly manage and resolve conflict in their marriages. The so called irreconcilable differences are the result of misunderstandings arising from the inability to resolve conflict in marital relationships. With the rate of divorce and marital problems being experienced by many, it is as if the institution of marriage is heading in the wrong direction.
Many marriages that have ended in divorce could have been preserved if the couples involved have been able to resolve their differences about pertinent issues in marriage. As a result of unresolved conflict, there are untold headaches, heartaches and frustrations being experienced by many who have even decided against divorce based on their religion beliefs or other reasons. Some are living in the bondage of unhappy marriages. Some are having their sanity threatened on daily basis. Some have become alcoholics, drug addicts, gamblers and notorious criminals. Some others had even committed suicide because they found it difficult to deal with the frustrations in their marital lives.
Also, there are some people are never married but are frustrated living their lives in-between the desire to get married and the fear of getting married. The instability in marriages today also poses a threat to the society at large.
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